Fresh Friendster Shoutouts for Exes

Hello people!  Here is a fresh batch of Friendster Shoutouts for ex boyfriends and girlfriends who treated you badly.   Please feel free to add your own; I appreciate your contributions very much, and you are often much better at it than I am, he he he 😆

Disclaimer:  Most of these are so nasty and snide that I won’t use them myself.  Use them at your own risk ❗ 😉

For an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend:

• I’m sorry, but I can’t be serious about someone who thinks he’s gay. (Obviously, the guy is not gay and he broke up with you)

• “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”  Welcome to hell.

• We’re not compatible, all right.  I’m smart; you’re not. (If the break up line was: “We’re simply not compatible.”)

• How did you know I was ready to move on?

• You’re moving on?  I do a mean eulogy.  Do you need an epitaph to go with your fancy headstone? (Pinoys, you can use “lapida” in place of “headstone” for more impact)

• FYI:  we’re long past the age of growing.  What are you, seven??? (If the break up line was:  “We’re not helping each other grow so might as well move on.“)

• I did not know we were stuck at a lower state of evolution. (If the break up line was:  “We’re not helping each other grow as persons.“)

• You must be a square peg and I a round hole.   (If the break up line is: “We don’t really fit.”)

• We finally agree on something… I don’t like them either.  (If the break up line is:  “My parents don’t like you.”)

• I’m all right.  I’ll just kill myself tomorrow.  You’re invited at my funeral and you’ll see me at your wedding. (ha ha ha; please don’t mean it if you use it.)

• I have dreams, too.  You made them come true by leaving. (If the break up line was:  “I have dreams I want to fulfill before I get serious in any relationship.”)

• So we were just playing?  Want to play murderer and murder victim with me?  (If the break up line was:  “I’m not ready for a serious relationship right now.”)

• Want me to wipe your @$$ for you? (If the break up line was:  You don’t take good care of me; I deserve someone better.”)

• I’m really sorry I did not make the right airplane noises while feeding you or give you the correct brand of cereal, oh you $@!&@$! baby… (If the break up line was:  You don’t take good care of me; I deserve someone better.”)

• Have I ever told you I know voodoo?

• Yipee!! Christmas came early this year.  Our break-up is the greatest gift you have ever given me.  It makes me so grateful I almost miss you… almost but not quite.

• Your mother told me she thinks she brought the wrong baby home.

For an ex-bf/gf with a new love interest:

• (Insert name here), you maxed out my credit!

• I thought you wanted beauty AND brains!

• FYI:  “brains” and “brawns ” are two different things; they just look the same on paper.

• (Insert guy’s name here), ano na palang nangyari sa anak mo?  / (Insert guy’s name here), say what happened to your son again?  (Obviously, the guy is single and doesn’t have a son.)

• More what?  More boobs, more boobs or more boobs?  (If the break up line used was:  “I need something more.” )

• You told me you’re not over your ex; you told your ex you’re not over your ex; and you told your ex before that the same thing.  When shall I expect you? (If the break up line is: “I’m not over my ex.”)

• You told me you’re not over your ex; you told your ex you’re not over your ex; and you told your ex before that you’re not over your ex.  Do you mean future ex whenever you say ex?  (If the break up line is: “I’m not over my ex.”)

• But you told me you are allergic to horses!!! Why are you now hitched to one?  (Obviously a snide reference to the new bf/gf’s horse-like countenance)
  

• Do you have enough hay in the stable to feed your new pet? (Obviously a snide reference to the new bf/gf’s horse-like countenance)

• You always did have self-destructive tendencies.  Your choice of current girl/boyfriend proves it.

• FYI:  Mature is not synonymous with “old man with a fat wallet”  (Particularly appropriate if your GF broke up with you because “you’re immature” and now has a much older but rich boyrfriend)

• Why?  Was it because you did not like the color of the new car I bought you?  Or was it because you wanted the Sony Plasma TV and I bought you Samsung instead ?  Was it the house?  I’m confused.

• For a while there, I thought you had taste.

• Let me guess… you owe his/her parents money.

• Is she your boss’ daughter?

• Is he your boss?

• Congratulations! He has star quality; he looks like the Son of the Mask.

• You must have been drunk when you first saw her, right?  No wonder you’re alcoholic now.

• You kid yourself.  He only looks like Brad Pitt when he’s upside down and facing away.

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