Fresh Friendster Shoutouts for Exes
Hello people! Here is a fresh batch of Friendster Shoutouts for ex boyfriends and girlfriends who treated you badly. Please feel free to add your own; I appreciate your contributions very much, and you are often much better at it than I am, he he he 😆
Disclaimer: Most of these are so nasty and snide that I won’t use them myself. Use them at your own risk ❗ 😉
For an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend:
- I’m sorry, but I can’t be serious about someone who thinks he’s gay. (Obviously, the guy is not gay and he broke up with you)
- “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Welcome to hell.
- We’re not compatible, all right. I’m smart; you’re not. (If the break up line was: “We’re simply not compatible.”)
- How did you know I was ready to move on?
- You’re moving on? I do a mean eulogy. Do you need an epitaph to go with your fancy headstone? (Pinoys, you can use “lapida” in place of “headstone” for more impact)
- FYI: we’re long past the age of growing. What are you, seven??? (If the break up line was: “We’re not helping each other grow so might as well move on.“)
- I did not know we were stuck at a lower state of evolution. (If the break up line was: “We’re not helping each other grow as persons.“)
- You must be a square peg and I a round hole. (If the break up line is: “We don’t really fit.”)
- We finally agree on something… I don’t like them either. (If the break up line is: “My parents don’t like you.”)
- I’m all right. I’ll just kill myself tomorrow. You’re invited at my funeral and you’ll see me at your wedding. (ha ha ha; please don’t mean it if you use it.)
- I have dreams, too. You made them come true by leaving. (If the break up line was: “I have dreams I want to fulfill before I get serious in any relationship.”)
- So we were just playing? Want to play murderer and murder victim with me? (If the break up line was: “I’m not ready for a serious relationship right now.”)
- Want me to wipe your @$$ for you? (If the break up line was: You don’t take good care of me; I deserve someone better.”)
- I’m really sorry I did not make the right airplane noises while feeding you or give you the correct brand of cereal, oh you $@!&@$! baby… (If the break up line was: You don’t take good care of me; I deserve someone better.”)
- Have I ever told you I know voodoo?
- Yipee!! Christmas came early this year. Our break-up is the greatest gift you have ever given me. It makes me so grateful I almost miss you… almost but not quite.
- Your mother told me she thinks she brought the wrong baby home.
For an ex-bf/gf with a new love interest:
- (Insert name here), you maxed out my credit!
- I thought you wanted beauty AND brains!
- FYI: “brains” and “brawns ” are two different things; they just look the same on paper.
- (Insert guy’s name here), ano na palang nangyari sa anak mo? / (Insert guy’s name here), say what happened to your son again? (Obviously, the guy is single and doesn’t have a son.)
- More what? More boobs, more boobs or more boobs? (If the break up line used was: “I need something more.” )
- You told me you’re not over your ex; you told your ex you’re not over your ex; and you told your ex before that the same thing. When shall I expect you? (If the break up line is: “I’m not over my ex.”)
- You told me you’re not over your ex; you told your ex you’re not over your ex; and you told your ex before that you’re not over your ex. Do you mean future ex whenever you say ex? (If the break up line is: “I’m not over my ex.”)
- But you told me you are allergic to horses!!! Why are you now hitched to one? (Obviously a snide reference to the new bf/gf’s horse-like countenance)
- Do you have enough hay in the stable to feed your new pet? (Obviously a snide reference to the new bf/gf’s horse-like countenance)
- You always did have self-destructive tendencies. Your choice of current girl/boyfriend proves it.
- FYI: Mature is not synonymous with “old man with a fat wallet” (Particularly appropriate if your GF broke up with you because “you’re immature” and now has a much older but rich boyrfriend)
- Why? Was it because you did not like the color of the new car I bought you? Or was it because you wanted the Sony Plasma TV and I bought you Samsung instead ? Was it the house? I’m confused.
- For a while there, I thought you had taste.
- Let me guess… you owe his/her parents money.
- Is she your boss’ daughter?
- Is he your boss?
- Congratulations! He has star quality; he looks like the Son of the Mask.
- You must have been drunk when you first saw her, right? No wonder you’re alcoholic now.
- You kid yourself. He only looks like Brad Pitt when he’s upside down and facing away.