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July 6, 2008

I was in the mall, in the grocery section specifically.  I was looking for milk (you know, the stuff that’s full of calcium and is supposed to be good for you?)  I love milk, especially fresh cow’s milk – not the type that is still warm, having just come from the cow’s mammary glands, mind you.  I like the type you can buy in a 1-L bottle or 250-/200-ml carton.

This time, however, I intended to get myself a box of powdered milk.  It’s much more economical than spending around 30 pesos everytime I felt like drinking milk.

I was prowling along the milk aisle when a white-coated lady sporting a wide smile and a plastic ID tag saw me and headed purposefully in my direction.  She immediately asked me for my age.  I immediately thought:  “Oh goodie!  I won one of those things.  A bowl perhaps?”

So I answered.  “I am, ummm, 25.”  (I really had to think about it.  I always think of myself as a year older so I had to subtract one from what I thought my age was).

The lady suddenly began a long-winded spiel about how I’m already an adult (duh, like I don’t know it every time I look at my face in the mirror and everytime I have to pay bills and send money home), and that I should not look for full cream milk or filled milk which are all – GASP – fattening!

I looked properly horrified, as if I had not just guzzled some Bear Brand Sterilized milk before I left home for the mall.  She went on and on about how adults should look – not for low fat milk but for NON-FAT milk.

Oooookay.  My face was becoming plastic with the effort of trying to hold on to my smile.  To cut her lecture short, I asked her which of the milk brands available she recommends.  She immediately said, “Ma’am, you should get yourself some Nesvita milk.”

Figures!!! After I had taken a proper look, I saw that she’s wearing a Nesvita ID tag.

I was actually intending to get this very same brand before the lady interrupted my musings so I gratefully sighed and smiled and said, “I thought so.”   That was her cue to leave me alone and bug someone else.

But the lady was not finished.  She got a carton of Nesvita Milk off the shelf and said, “This is the Nesvita Proweight.  This is not only low-fat but non-fat.”  She introduced each and every one of the Nesvita variants on the shelf.  She told me things about the products.  I can’t be sure but it seems to me she was reciting the information found at the back of each box.

She then asked me for my body weight.  I told her.  She did not believe me, apparently, for she asked me to step on the bathroom scale she had ready.  She then asked me for my height.  I gave it to her.  She did not believe me once again and gave me her own estimate of my height.  Then she asked me for my name.  I thought, if she was not going to believe anything I say, why say any more?  So I refused to answer.  I also refused to give her my contact number and address.

Trying to gain credibility, she told me she is a nutritionist from Nesvita.  I still refused to give her more information.  Defeated, she turned to what she had so far.  A gleam suddenly lit her eyes; she seemed to anticipate what was still to come.  In a perfectly grave voice, she said:  “You really should buy Nesvita… because you are OVERWEIGHT!!!!”

I actually got the term in before she did, but it didn’t seem to matter.  She then tried to smooth over her uber-taklesa comment by saying:  “It’s just two kilos, anyway” then ruined it once more by saying, “but your ideal weight is 6 kilos less your current weight.”

I wonder how long the lady has been working for Nesvita.  I don’t think she will last very long if she is this tactless.  I didn’t mind, for I have long accepted the fact that she so gleefully pointed out.  I wonder how others would react though, he he.  I’d love to be a fly on the wall when she tells a really big person “You’re overweight.”  he he he 😆

And just for the record, I checked the label on the Nesvita box.  It’s really not non-fat.  It still has a bit of fat content so I guess it’s just – GASP – low fat!

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