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On Epitaphs

April 17, 2008

I renamed my “Recent Posts” box into “Epiphanies – or Not!” This got me thinking of another word that sounds just like it: epitaphs.

All right, I admit. They don’t really sound alike. However, both start with “epi.” Whatever the reason, I always think of epitaphs whenever I think of epiphanies, and vice versa.

Anyway, I got to thinking. What would my family inscribe on my grave, I wonder? Yes, I assume it’s going to be my family “sending me off” to the next life (how euphemistic; “sending me off,” he he) and not some anonymous people down at a public morgue (shudder).

Then I started thinking about some interesting epitaphs I’d want inscribed on my grave. I think I’d leave this list with my Last Will and Testament – if I ever get rich enough to need a Last Will and Testament, that is. This way, my progeny will simply have to chant “innie minnie miny moe” then pick whichever entry the pen lands on when they finish reciting the verse. Anyway, here’s my partial list of epitaphs:

  • Going UP or DOWN? Bet Now! Progressive jackpots at stake.
  • Environment Friendly: Biodegradable
  • Organic, All Natural fertilizer. She’s good for you!
  • She cannot talk in her sleep. She cannot talk, period.
  • Composition: Halo-halo, toasted siopao, isaw, roast beef, Mann Hann beef with broccoli
  • Loved WordPress and Drupal!
  • Jinky Phone Home
  • Are you not satisfied? ARRE YOUU NNOTT SSATTISFFIED?!? (adapted from the “Are you not entertained” line in the movie, Gladiator)
  • The number you’re calling is either unattended or out of coverage area. Please try again later.
  • She ate cold. ( This is culled from McCullough’s “Song of Troy.” The line originally referred to Odysseus.)
  • See you soon!
  • Bury now, pay later.
Disclaimer: I said the epitaphs are interesting, not meaningful, duh! 🙂

Update:  This one is Febe’s in reference to a friend who is NBK-NBT (never been kissed, never been touched):

  • Returned with Seal Unbroken

Again, thank you for sharing Febe! 🙂

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Jinky Bagagñan permalink
    May 2, 2008 1:01 am


    Ha ha ha ha; That’s realy funny! Why didn’t I think of that one? Brilliant; just brilliant! Do think of some more; I really love your (irreverent) sense of humor, he he he 😆

    On another note, I’m glad you’re still alive and are not in need of an epitaph… yet, he he he 😆

    – Jinky

  2. febe permalink
    May 1, 2008 11:17 am

    “See you soon!” — creepy! hahaha. 🙂

    Someone in our barkada is NBK-NBT, we always joke around that hers would be “Returned with Seal Unbroken” 😀

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