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You’ve gotta be kidding me! – Entry dated March 21, 2007

February 14, 2008

It is hard being a grown up. When I was little (well, I’m still small today – vertically challenged is the politically correct way of saying it, my friends say) I dreamed of growing up. I’d be independent, free to go anywhere and free to do anything that I put my mind to.

Well, life just played a cruel trick on me. I am 24, grown -up by some standards (this will depend on the age of the person reading this – let’s live and let live here!) and it’s not at all the way I envisioned it to be.

With the freedom came the responsibility. I am free to go anywhere on my own, but I am free to get lost on my own, too. I am free to do anything on my own, but I am free to suffer the consequences of whatever I do on my own, too.

Truth is, now I realize that it was good to be young. When a child feels like crying, he does. In fact, he wails. If a child feels angry, he can lie smack down on the floor and indulge in a full-blown childish tantrum. If a child wishes to stare, he can and will do so. If a child wants to say something, he comes right out and says it.

A child’s main problem is being allowed to go out and play in the park. If things don’t pan out, there are always the wailing and the tantrums to fall back on.

Now, I can no longer wail like I used to (I used to wail at the top of my lungs, mind you). I can no longer throw temper tantrums. I’d be so embarrassed if somebody caught me staring. I now think and rethink my thoughts before I verbally express them.

My problems are no longer as simple as being allowed out to play in the park. Now, my main concern is whether or not I can get my bills paid on time, whether or not I can beat my deadlines and whether my moisturizer works ()

It’s just so ironic. Real freedom came with my childhood years. Dreaming about and waiting for my grown up years, I missed it.

(Repost from my Yahoo 360 blog)

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