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Dire “Straights”

February 14, 2008

If people do not mind their grammar when they write, the world would be full of laughs. Take a load of this:

She came with her bikini.” instead of “She came in her bikini. ”
A measly preposition made a heck of a difference. The former brings to mind a naked woman coming in holding, instead of wearing, her bikini.

She only sleeps on her own bed.” instead of “She sleeps only in her own bed.” The former statement is quite provocative. One might start thinking, “Why, what else could she do in her own bed (Wink!)?” Or perhaps, “Oh, so when she’s not in her own bed, she does something else instead of getting some sleep (Wink again!)?”  (obviously the preposition is also an issue)

“Your reading glasses are in the table.” instead of “Your reading glasses are on the table.” Hello? Your reading glasses can’t be inside the table, surely?

“I don’t want to loose you.” Duh?! What is he, “lose” change (he he)?

I can pick your things up for you. The gym is nearly enough anyway.” That’s like saying that the gym will suffice when, obviously, what you’re trying to say is that the gym is conveniently near.

“I’m laying down for a while.” No, it’s lying down. The word laying always makes me think of chickens “lying” eggs (he he; oops, sarcasm went unnoticed 🙂 )

“I want to possess a dog.” Correct me if I’m wrong but it seems to me you simply want a dog of your own. Why use “possess” then? That’s like you saying you want to own your dog body and soul. Creepy.

“Come on; praise it open!” This is funny. You praise the thing so it will open for you. I wonder if that works. Should have used “prise” though. Better yet, just chant “Open Sesame” next time.

“Uh-oh. Boy am I in extremely dire straights.” He he, the straights are dire indeed.

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