Friendster Shoutouts For Exes

Target:  Ex boyfriend/girlfriend

Thank you for realizing I am much too good for you.

Thanks for the free phone, the free iPod and all the free lunches and dinners; you were my bread, my butter, my plate, and my jam.  Boy was it good while it lasted!  [substitute the "free" items you got, he he]

Babalik ka rin.

I know it’s your fault; you don’t have to tell me that. (in response to the break-up line “It’s not you; it’s me”)

If you’re a specimen of what brothers are like, I’d rather be an only child; thank you very much.  (in response to the break-up line “you’re like a sister/brother to me”)

You call what we’ve been doing “brotherly”?  Pervert!  (in response to the break-up line “you’re like a sister/brother to me.”)

Found yourself yet?  Want me to file a missing person report?  (in response to the break-up line “I just have to find myself first”)

Is your space suit ready yet?  When’s your space ship leaving?  (in response to the break-up line “I need some space”)

Target:  Ex boyfriend/girlfriend with a new “love”

I know you hate yourself, but I never suspected you hate yourself THAT much!

I wouldn’t wish her on my greatest enemy, but now you’ve got her.  Please accept my prayers and my deepest sympathies.  You need it.  [substitute him for her if necessary]

Please don’t do it.  I pity your future offspring.

How much did she pay you?  I hope she makes it really worth your while.

Your taste took a turn for the worse.

That’s taking your guilt too far.

You told me you wanted some space; I didn’t know you wanted a pet alien, too?!?  (in response to the break-up line “I need some space”)

You told me you’re not ready for a relationship right now.  What do you call her?  A dry run? (in response to the break-up line “I’m not ready for a relationship right now”)

You said you needed something “more” – so why did you settle for “less”?

This is not an exhaustive list, but i’m well out of creative juices.  Feel free to add your own shoutouts.  You can probably do better, he he.  I’ll add some more to this whenever I have some free time.