Taklesa
I was in the mall, in the grocery section specifically. I was looking for milk (you know, the stuff that’s full of calcium and is supposed to be good for you?) I love milk, especially fresh cow’s milk – not the type that is still warm, having just come from the cow’s mammary glands, mind you. I like the type you can buy in a 1-L bottle or 250-/200-ml carton.
This time, however, I intended to get myself a box of powdered milk. It’s much more economical than spending around 30 pesos everytime I felt like drinking milk.
I was prowling along the milk aisle when a white-coated lady sporting a wide smile and a plastic ID tag saw me and headed purposefully in my direction. She immediately asked me for my age. I immediately thought: “Oh goodie! I won one of those things. A bowl perhaps?”
So I answered. “I am, ummm, 25.” (I really had to think about it. I always think of myself as a year older so I had to subtract one from what I thought my age was).
The lady suddenly began a long-winded spiel about how I’m already an adult (duh, like I don’t know it every time I look at my face in the mirror and everytime I have to pay bills and send money home), and that I should not look for full cream milk or filled milk which are all – GASP – fattening!
I looked properly horrified, as if I had not just guzzled some Bear Brand Sterilized milk before I left home for the mall. She went on and on about how adults should look – not for low fat milk but for NON-FAT milk.
Oooookay. My face was becoming plastic with the effort of trying to hold on to my smile. To cut her lecture short, I asked her which of the milk brands available she recommends. She immediately said, “Ma’am, you should get yourself some Nesvita milk.”
Figures!!! After I had taken a proper look, I saw that she’s wearing a Nesvita ID tag.
I was actually intending to get this very same brand before the lady interrupted my musings so I gratefully sighed and smiled and said, “I thought so.” That was her cue to leave me alone and bug someone else.
But the lady was not finished. She got a carton of Nesvita Milk off the shelf and said, “This is the Nesvita Proweight. This is not only low-fat but non-fat.” She introduced each and every one of the Nesvita variants on the shelf. She told me things about the products. I can’t be sure but it seems to me she was reciting the information found at the back of each box.
She then asked me for my body weight. I told her. She did not believe me, apparently, for she asked me to step on the bathroom scale she had ready. She then asked me for my height. I gave it to her. She did not believe me once again and gave me her own estimate of my height. Then she asked me for my name. I thought, if she was not going to believe anything I say, why say any more? So I refused to answer. I also refused to give her my contact number and address.
Trying to gain credibility, she told me she is a nutritionist from Nesvita. I still refused to give her more information. Defeated, she turned to what she had so far. A gleam suddenly lit her eyes; she seemed to anticipate what was still to come. In a perfectly grave voice, she said: “You really should buy Nesvita… because you are OVERWEIGHT!!!!”
I actually got the term in before she did, but it didn’t seem to matter. She then tried to smooth over her uber-taklesa comment by saying: “It’s just two kilos, anyway” then ruined it once more by saying, “but your ideal weight is 6 kilos less your current weight.”
I wonder how long the lady has been working for Nesvita. I don’t think she will last very long if she is this tactless. I didn’t mind, for I have long accepted the fact that she so gleefully pointed out. I wonder how others would react though, he he. I’d love to be a fly on the wall when she tells a really big person “You’re overweight.” he he he 
And just for the record, I checked the label on the Nesvita box. It’s really not non-fat. It still has a bit of fat content so I guess it’s just – GASP – low fat!
Writer, editor, researcher, search marketing consultant, domain developer, and bum.
